omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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