Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
