So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
