I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
