I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
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