Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I'm like, not good at living.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
