The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
