Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
