i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
