We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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