i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
we're so committed to being not committed
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
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