Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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