Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
