i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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