ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
