nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
