If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
He felt like a one man threesome
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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