Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
