GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I need to align my fucking chakras
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
