wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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