Your tits are I can't wait for
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
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