I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
