I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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