Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
