You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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