i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
