i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
