I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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