better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
you inspire me to be a worse person
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Randomize
