Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
