I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
A bitchslap is in order.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
