We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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