I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Dignity is for republicans.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize