i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
You took a bar mat shot.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
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