is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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