He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
