It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
