my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
