the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
