arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
