grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
