So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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