Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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