and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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