tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
