there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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