eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
try to milk me bitch
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