you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
