sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Randomize