how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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