I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
