you win again, gameday.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
