Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize