NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Randomize
