I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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