I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
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