guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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