i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
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