i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
