oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
