So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
