At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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