And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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