I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I love having hate sex.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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