Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize
