the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
