i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
