the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
